1. The beautiful people are all indoors fucking each other
Hong Kong is the city of high heels and 5,000 dollar suits. Neither of these armaments of sexual warfare fire well in the rain. Instead, the warring parties retreat into the jungle to clean their barrels and shoot their cannons. The rest literally spill over into the streets. The only people you see on the road in Hong Kong after a shower are fat people. Guts spilling over their belts or cellulite showing on their thighs, skirts and pants stretch to breaking point, the turkeys perch on the barstools normally occupied by the birds of prey. It is enough to make one take a rifle to the whole zoo.
2. The umbrellas are all fucking neck level
Getting hit in the eye by 10 umbrellas in the 15 minute walk home is not pleasant. I know the Chinese are jealous of occidental features, but this is fucking ridiculous.
3. The city drips
No rain actually falls on the streets of Hong Kong. It is all filtered through the concrete jungle, where hardwood giants are replaced by billboards and light fixtures and drainage systems. The sum effect is to feel like you are being pissed on by hundreds of 100 foot Ray-Js.
4. It looks fucking sleazy
The rain makes the neon stand out, bankers' gel slick their hair to their forheads, the women's clothes go from tasteful slutty to Girls Gone Wild and the associated human driftwood of the city suddenly chokes its waterways: South Asian restaurant touts braving the rain, Filipina whores gingerly stepping over puddles and Nepali waitresses carrying steaming kebabs over slick roads.
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