Calvin Klein Chuddis

I would never disrespect a book (or any reading material for that matter) by taking it into the loo. So on those long, lonely calls of nature I often have little else to do but stare at the clothing at my feet. My pants come from all kinds of brands made all over the world, but my boxers stay the same. They are made for Calvin Klein, in Sri Lanka and yes, if you have to know, I got them all free. But if I ever was to buy boxers (I dont, my family sends me 2 dozen every month from our garment business), I would still buy Calvin Klein. Why?...well read on motherfucker:

1. It is the ultimate chuddi brand. Hong Kong's old 20+ storey Ritz Carlton is covered on two sides by an effeminate black man in his underwear. Despite his obvious homosexuality, he draws the lust of the women and the jealousy of the men of the city to his an oddly bulging crotch. Every day thousands of the richest and best looking people in Hong Kong have their morning coffee staring at that poster. Glance a slightly higher and his underwear's waistband announces, in big, white letters, a brand that has a simple message: "Calvin motherfucking Klein is our name, and giving you a five storey cock is our game".

2. The other brands are just way too fucking expensive. Zegna, Hugo Boss, Versace and Armani all make very nice underwear, but at the cost of a fucking polo shirt. I am a great believer in nice things, but costly underwear does not feature on my list of essential shit. If a chick is seeing me in my underwear, I'd like to think that I've sealed the deal.

3. Following from point 2, chicks dont care about your underwear unless it is from fucking Genuiiiine Jockey. They take off your shirt, see a label on your elastic waist band and check off a mental list. As long as a. you arent chinese with a girl from another racel b. anything other than black with a black girl, you've pretty much impressed her as much as is required.

This concludes my short discourse on men's underwear. If you are the kind of guy who can get laid without expensive underwear, fuck you and dont judge us. All that gymming probably has left you unemployed and blueberry nuts. Make those blackberries.